Who Wants to be a Million Galleonier?
by MiSSxMELON
Summary: Fred and George host their own show quite similar to Who Wants to be a Millionare. Will it prove more popular than Rita Skeeter's A Million Galleons? Can they pull it off? Well one thing's for sure: It's going to be very humorous.


**Who wants to be a Million Galleonier?**

**By: Helen Li**

Now Rita Skeeter had began a new trend with her show A Million Galleons. Naturally there had to be _someone_ out there who was ready to copy her. Now who would be aspiring enough to think of a show to make some extra money? Who would be motivated to do so? And who, exactly who, had some sort of muggle experience?

It wasn't a muggle-born. In fact, it wasn't just one person. There were two. There names were Fred and George Weasley.

Alright, so their specialties lie in jokes…but they were inspired by Regis Philbin. Why the man was funny enough, for a muggle, and his show was interesting.

…honestly they were in for the money. And since they _had_ the money to invest into their own show, let's just say they really did it.

In fact, the show's going on right now…so why don't we go check it out?

"Hello I'm Fred!" one of the red-headed twins grinned.

"And I'm George!" the other one chimed.

"Well, actually I'm George." The first one laughed.

"Yeah, and I'm Fred." The other one added.

"Only kidding!" joked the first one again.

"Okay, seriously, I'm George." George said solemnly, but then burst into laughter again.

"Yeah, he really is George, the dumb bloke. I'm Fred…George; stop laughing, no seriously George! GEORGE! WILL YOU PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!" Fred yelled at George before starting to crack up himself.

"You…have…to…excuse…us." George managed to say after calming down from all the laughing. "This is our first television show."

"Actually…it's our _only_ television show." Fred commented.

"That's what I meant…" George rolled his eyes.

"That's what I'm saying." Fred frowned.

"I know that's what you're saying, but I already said it." George exasperated.

"So? They don't know the difference. Hell, I could be Fred _or_ George." Fred grinned mischievously.

"Now, now, let's not confuse our audience!" George said before coughing to stop himself from laughing.

"Well, on with our show!" Fred elbowed George.

"That is, if you're watching. I hear there are only a couple of you witches and wizards who actually _have_ a television…" George grumbled.

"Eh, might as well advertise our pranks, I mean, wonderful stuff then!" Fred shrugged as he brought out a product.

"You idiot, we're not supposed to go into commercial _yet_! I mean, why don't we at least start the show?" George smacked Fred upside the head.

"Ow…" Fred rubbed the top of his head. "I'll let that one go only because we're in front of…a few people…"

"Yeah, well, I don't want this to be a _talk_ show." George shuddered. "So now we start! We'd explain the rules, but heck we don't have a real contestant since I'm questioning Fred, so just watch and you'll learn!"

"I thought I was questioning _you_." Fred crossed his arms.

"…next time." George said hastily. "So, first question! How old are you? Is it A. 20, B. 20, C. 20, or D. Purple?"

Now this was a very difficult first question and Fred pondered the answer for a minute before hesitating,

"A."

"C?"

"A!"

"D?"

"B."

"C?"

"Yeah. C." Fred nodded thoughtfully.

George looked down at his note card (okay so the show wasn't funded correctly) and he looked back up sadly and sighed. Fred could read his emotions and he, too, thought he had already lost when…

"YOU GOT IT RIGHT!" George shouted.

"YAY!" Fred cheered as he pumped his fist in the air.

"Alright so that's…um, well some amount of galleons, but who cares? We run the show!" George shrugged.

"Uh, you're not supposed to tell them that or they won't believe we actually have money prizes." Fred rolled his eyes.

"Well you weren't supposed to tell me _that_ on _air_ when everyone can HEAR US!" George growled back.

Before Fred could reply, the sound of a telephone ringing could be heard.

"Fred and George! It's for you two…" Angelina ran onto the set quickly. She tossed the phone as Fred caught it and turned around and left.

"That's Fred's girlfriend." George made a face as Fred looked like a love sick puppy.

"I HEARD THAT! I'M _NOT_ HIS GIRLFRIEND!" a shout could be heard from Angelina.

"Okay, so Fred _wishes_ that was his girlfriend." George corrected himself.

"WISHES! HE COULD JUST _BLOODY _ASK ME!" Angelina was now listening in.

"How can she bloody hear me!" George muttered.

"I'M WATCHING THE TELEVISION SCREEN OVER HERE!" Angelina yelled back.

"HEY! I'LL ASK YOU AT THE OPPORTUNE MOMENT!" came the slow reaction of Fred.

"AND WHEN WOULD THAT BE?" Angelina called back angrily.

"WHEN I FIND THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE!" Fred shot back loudly.

"YOU DON'T NEED TO YELL YOU IDIOT; I CAN HEAR YOU ON THE SCREEN!" Angelina retorted.

"THEN WHY, I mean, then why are you yelling?" Fred scowled.

"_BECAUSE I'M NOT ON AIR_," Angelina exasperated. "Now are you going to take that call or not!"

"The phone!" both of the twins exclaimed at once.

"Answer it!" George said quickly.

"No you!" Fred tossed the phone at George who caught it purely out of his reflexes.

"You!" George threw it back.

"YOU!" Fred wasn't giving up.

"_JUST ANSWER THE BLOODY PHONE_!"

Fred found himself with the phone in his hands again.

"Fine!" Fred stuck his tongue out as he answered the call. "Um…hello?"

"Hi, I'm watching your show right now and I was wondering what 'on air' means." A lady's voice could be heard.

"Oh! That means we're on television right now," Fred answered awkwardly. "Is that all you called for…?"

"No, actually I think your first question was quite dull, I mean we all know about your age." The lady immediately stopped.

"…mom?" Fred's voice dropped extremely low.

"Um…oh, hi honey! I had no idea this was _your_ show!" Mrs. Weasley lied horribly.

"…MOM! I _TOLD_ YOU TO NOT CALL THIS NUMBER!" Fred roared.

"DO NOT SPEAK TO ME IN THAT TONE, YOUNG MAN!" Mrs. Weasley thundered back.

"…yes ma'am." Fred replied meekly.

"Good. Now your father and I would like to have dinner with you and George if you're not too busy tonight. Owl us!" Mrs. Weasley chirped cheerfully before hanging up.

Now the angelic sound of Angelina's laugher rang throughout the set.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Fred roared.

"Actually it is," George and Angelina said at the same time except Angelina really yelled it.

"FINE. ANGELINA WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!" Fred shouted at the top of his lungs.

"WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY ASKING ME THIS!" Angelina yelled back.

"DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU'D SAY YES?" Fred was quite confused.

Angelina didn't reply, but loud stomps could be heard and after a few moments Angelina could be seen on television, that is, if you were watching.

"I never _said_ I'd say yes, but all you had to do was to bloody ask!" Angelina snapped.

"I _just did_." Fred gritted between his teeth.

"Sounds like someone needs a canary cream…" George began his advertising voice. "And they're on sale right now, so buy them while you can!"

His voice droned on as he showed more products.

"You said you'd ask at the opportune moment!" Angelina threw her hands up in frustration.

"And I just asked you so that means that _was_ the opportune moment!" Fred mirrored her move.

"Could you two hurry up so I can test these products to _show our audience_?" George interrupted rudely.

"You heard him, answer the question!" Fred shot at Angelina.

"Fine. Yes, I'll go out with you!" Angelina replied shortly.

And then the two pulled in for a passionate kiss which did in fact up the ratings as more people tuned in to watch the comedy/soap opera/game show. It _was_ a sight seeing the note cards strewn everywhere (damn you Fred!), Fred and Angelina snogging, and George looking quite pissed off.

"TEST. PRODUCTS. NOW!" George shouted.

"Oh fine." Fred grabbed one of the candies in George's hands as he ripped it open and stuffed it in his mouth like a savage animal.

You'd think having a _job_ for tasting dangerous food particles would teach you a lesson about accepting food from pranksters…but apparently not.

Fred looked down at his arms as they became wings with a 'poof' and his legs shrunk to two skinny pegs and chicken feet. To his horror he soon _became_ a chicken as Angelina stared in shock.

"The chicken candies work!" George declared triumphantly with a grin on his face. "You know Fred, you look rather dashing as a chicken."

"WHAT…DID…YOU…DO…TO…MY…BOYFRIEND!" Angelina cried out. "DID IT _HAVE_ TO BE RIGHT AFTER HE ASKED ME OUT!"

Fred cawed in agreement as George doubled in laughter.

"Hand over the antidote _now_!" Angelina ordered as she winced with a glimpse of her chicken, I mean boyfriend.

"Haven't one," George sighed in reply as he paused from his laughing.

"That's funny, George, now hand it over," Angelina ignored his playful ways.

"I didn't know I could be funny without even _trying_. Proves that I'm _not_ related to Percy," George grumbled. "But I'm sorry Angelina honey; I haven't made an antidote yet."

"Then why would you give the candy to Fred!" Angelina snapped with impatience as she held out her hand, waiting for George to give her the antidote.

"…so that he'd turn into a chicken while being your boyfriend," George spoke as if Angelina were five years old. "Honestly, you don't see the obvious point in this whole thing?"

"…turn…him…back," Angelina gritted between her teeth.

"Angelina, Angelina, Angelina," George let out a deep sigh. "Have you ever heard the story about the princess and the chicken?"

"The one where the ugly chicken gets kissed by the bloody princess and he turns into a prince?" Angelina rolled her eyes as she tapped her foot in annoyance.

"Precisely," George grinned.

Angelina's eyes widened.

"YOU'RE KIDDING ME!" she exclaimed as she looked down at Fred who was now pecking at the floor.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" George wore a quite mischievous grin. Nevertheless he and Fred never looked innocent or serious.

"Oh you'll pay for this afterwards," Angelina glared at George before giving Fred a quick peck.

He immediately resumed to his old self, except he was red all over and gave George a deadly stare.

"Oh come on Fred, we do this to each other all the time," George exasperated at his lethal look.

"I HAVE **NEVER** TURNED YOU INTO A CHICKEN IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ("That's because I _haven't_ one," George grumbled.) AND THEN HUMILIATED YOU IN FRONT OF NATIONAL T.V.! ("Uh, there's like what, ten people watching?" George muttered.)" Fred thundered as he pounced on George.

Angelina stood, not knowing what to do as she watched the two go at it.

"Well, uh, that's all folks…um, tune in next time…" Angelina smiled nervously at the camera before running off.

The next day Fred and George's show was the number one hit, topping A Million Galleons.

A/N: Uh wow I've had this story like done for a longgg time but I never bothered to post it. Since I haven't been writing much (my apologies to those who read my stuff…and thanks cause you actually read it and that makes me happy) I thought I would post this up for anyone who likes the twisted humor I try to create. You know, retarded. Haha. Well I'll try to update my other stories soon!


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